Intangible

Kate: Pop quiz! Is "Go" a noun?

Dad: "Go" is not a noun; it is a verb.

Kate: A+. Is "Monster" a noun?

Dad: Yes, "Monster" is a noun.

Kate: Not really. Nouns are things and monsters aren't real.

Buying Power

After receiving money from pa-pa for a stellar report card, Kate announces her purchasing plans.

Kate: A Power Ranger, A Barbie, and a real dragon.

Bribery isn't working

Kate: You're my favorite dad.

Dad: Thanks.

Kate: Mommy is my favorite mom.

Dad: That is nice.

Kate [under her breath]: and my favorite parent.

Blasphemy

Kate [after the video we were streaming stalled]: The iPhone isn't a necessity.

Dad: What?!

Kate: I'm thinking about wants and needs, Dad. And I don't like the iPhone's buffer.

Greetings

Dad: Good morning!

Jane [wide awake]: I want candy.

Dee-Dee-Dee

Kate: There are three "D's" in our family; two daughters and a dog.

Dad: What about "Dad?"

K: No, you're a "Father."

D: How are they different?

K: "Dad" has only 3 letters.

Criteria

Kate [while sitting in the back seat on the way to school]: I feel like an orphan.

Dad: Why is that?

Kate: Because I'm not getting hugged; and orphans don't get hugged.