The Right Answer

Dad [walks into the kitchen and finds Jane applying liberal amounts of parmesan cheese to her last three pasta shells]: What are you doing?

Lily [quickly puts the container on the table and pauses for thought]: I love you, dad.

The Obvious Exterior

Jane [while cuddling with dad in the morning, trying to fully wake up, pulls up the blinds]: Look!

Dad: Are you looking outside? What do you see?

Jane [turns to dad and replies flatly]: Outside.

Dedicated to Kate's Outnumbered Aunts

From a conversation on the way to school that started with Kate pointing out a 12-passenger van and ended with a multiplication lesson.

Dad: How many kids are in your family, including you?

Kate: Three!

Dad: So daddy grew up with nine kids in his family. How many families is that?

Kate [a little more solemn]: Three. But let's count the girls. How many girls?

Dad: Two.

Kate [now holding her fingers to understand this visually, pauses and almost gasps]: Only two?

Proof my kids are mobile

Andy and Kate's school held a fantastically-organized Boosterthon Fun Run last week. After the kids receive pledged donations, a group of very energetic college kids keep them motivated to run two miles. I'm left wondering if the rest of the day was spent with twenty sleeping kids in each class.



Jane got in on the action, too.

Spelling Rhymes

Before starting Andy's spelling homework, I read the words out loud for him to hear the "word family" this week:

Mom: May, Lay, Say, Bay, Pay

Andy: No Way!

Perfectly Nice

Dad: I want you to see me as the nicest dad ever.

Kate: That will never happen.

Dad [ponders this thoughtfully]: Why is that?

Kate: Because nobody is perfect.

Choices are Semantic

Mom: If you have a choice at lunch between an apple and a cookie, which should you choose?

Andy [flatly]: A cookie.

Dad leans over and suggests differentiating between should and healthy.

Mom: If you have a choice between Sprite™ and orange juice, which is healthier?

Andy: Orange juice.

Dad leans back with a smug look on his face.

Kate and the Food Problem

Dad [after Kate said something clever]: You're funny.

Kate [apparently hungry]: Food can help that.

Dad laughs heartily and bear hugs Kate.

Kate [groans]: Are you going to put that on the blog?

Dad: I am now.

[Dad's note: Credit for the name of this post goes to Kate.]

Future Paths

Dad: Can you do something for me? Can you have another 6th birthday and just stay my little girl?

Kate: I'll always be your little girl.

Dad: Even when you're grown-up like dad?

Kate [with a puzzled then matter-of-fact look]: I can't grow up to be a dad. Girls grow up to be moms.

Sanity and Laundry are Interdependent

Mom [after searching extensively for a specific shirt Andy really wants to wear]: I can't find it Andy; I've looked everywhere I know.

Andy: You're a crazy woman.

[Note: the shirt was indeed found, tucked into Andy's book bag by the little guy for safe keeping.]

The End defines the Means

Jane: I want chocolate milk! I want chocolate milk! I want chocolate milk!

Andy [who got himself dressed when asked and made a deal to get Sprite]: I want Sprite, please.

Jane: I want Sprite!

Dad [looking at the almost empty bottle]: I only have enough for Andy.

Jane [very clearly]: I don't like chocolate milk.

Hearing like a Bat

Dad [tiptoes silently through the darkness of Kate and Jane's room, lies down on Kate's bed and pats her head softly to wake her 'nicely,' (Kate's term) then whispers]: Do you want me to carry you downstairs and put some cereal in you?

Jane [apparently a light sleeper with excellent hearing, belts out]: I want cereal!

Potty by proxy

Dad [to Jane]: Please go potty in the bathroom.

Jane: Don't want to.

Andy [looks at his sister, then Dad]: I'll do it.

Digital Photos are still Slides

Dad: Want to see pictures from my trip?

Andy [groans]: It's boring.

Dad: It's not boring. I like these.

Andy [no longer paying attention]: It's still boring.

Worn out

Jane had a good day and decided to wrap it up right here.

The Subtleties of Kate's Flexibility

Dad [to Kate, who is lying on the couch instead of getting ready for school]: You need to get up and get dressed.

Kate [without blinking]: I'm stretching.

Editorial note from Dad: You may think that the blog has been overrun by Dad/Kate-isms lately because Kate is the most talkative of the kids and Dad is the most frequent author. The reality, however, is that Kate reserves most of her clever thoughts for Dad.

Dad is home!

After being away for 5 days, I walked through the door with camera in hand to capture my children's authentic expressions of joy when celebrating dad's return. Here's what I saw, in chronological order.

For the duration

Dad: Okay, I'll snuggle with you for 5 minutes.

Kate [immediately]: That's 300 seconds.