Andy, Jane, and Kate

Christmas Day 2008

Like Cheney

Kate: If we knew a secret agent, they wouldn't be secret anymore. They would just be an agent.

Green like broccoli

Kate: Do you know the difference between an ogre and a princess?

Dad: What is it?

Kate: An ogre is green and she is not.

Snappily

Kate (while wiggling her toes furiously): I'm trying to snap my toes.

Nutrition

Kate: If I ate a chcolate cake for breakfast, went to school, and played on the playground, then when I was on the balance beam I would fall over because of the fat.

Poisoned Apple

Poisoned apples don't actually induce sleep with one bite. It takes several.

Pillow chat

Dad [after having just 'borrowed' Kate's pillow]: I'm comfy.

Kate: Yeah, but you're not cozy.

The origin of Katisms.

Kate: I said, "Oh," inside my brain.

Self-Actualization

Jane [at 2 years, 2 months]: I'm not a baby (any)more.

Summer Santa

After being given a prompt at school asking what would be different if Santa came during the summer, Andy writes:

"He would come by boat."

Bleating

Andy has run the duration of a local hippotherapy program. (For those unfamiliar with the term, it is an equine-centric therapeutic method). Kate asked why he won't be riding horses anymore.

Mom: Well, he has learned all he can on the horses right now.

Kate: So what's next? Sheep?

To town, actually.

Andy: I have big news!

Dad: What's the news?

Andy: Santa is coming to my house!

Or a tornado

Kate [out of the blue]: Don't ever, ever, ever get close to a hammerhead shark.

Prodigal Bear

Kate's bear Rachel went missing for a few days before turning up alive and well.



Her note made Kate's day.

Thankfully not Lions or Tigers

Andy [while dad drives the car backwards out of a long, dark driveway]: I'm scared!

Mom: Of what?

Andy: Ghosts, and Bears, ... and Cats!

Bacon, too.

Dad [explaining to Kate why being the middle child is a good thing]: It's like an Oreo™ cookie. The best part is the frosting.

Kate smiles.

Dad: Do you like that?

Kate: Yes. And cereal.

Either this or success. (The two are confusing.)

Kate: Daddy, your hamburger smells like the sweet smell of bacon.

Jane. Two years, one month, one week.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Photography by Andy

It was mostly intuition.

Kate: How did you read my mind to know that I want a Twinkie?

Walking distance

Kate: You can walk to Florida.

Dad: That's true, but do you want to?

Kate: It's easy, but that's called ‘driving.’

How to take 'cute' and make more cute

Cloud 9

Mom snuggled Jane to sleep in her bed.



Jane couldn't have been happier.

Halloween brew

Much too good for children.

Andy and Jane on Hallow

You should see the outtakes.

New Toys

Cassie got new toys this week, including a bone that, proportionally, makes her seem like an innocent puppy again.

Bookworms

In All Fairness, Mom Was Paying Bills

Kate: Dad, can I spend some time with you? Because spending time with mom while she's on her computer is terribly boring.

Trade

I made a deal with Andy; if he would let me take a picture of him, he could take a picture of me. The images are unedited.





I think this 8-year-old has some talent.

Improvement

Dad: Is French Toast better than toast?

Kate: Yes it is.

D: How much?

K: 4 or 5 percent.

Over flashed pics taken too close anyway

Fashion

Kate, noting differences between two options for school clothing: The white one is more comfortable, but this one is better.

Dad: Why is that?

Kate, cheerily: Because it matches.

Percentage points

Kate, to mom: I need to go spend some time with Dad because he's more fun. He's 2% better.

The answer to 'What does Jane look like today?'

Pendulum

Kate, arriving at the breakfast table: Today is the best day of my life.

Mom: Is this because of yesterday?

Dad: What happened yesterday?

Kate: The worst day of my life.

Affirmation

[Andy sits in the dark while Dad replaces a light bulb over the dining room table.]

Andy [flatly]: It's fixed.

Dad: Yes, it is.

Andy [pauses, then nonchalantly comments]: Good job, Dad.

Deposition practice

Kate: Dad, remember when you were a kid?

Dad: Yes.

K: Did you like t.v.?

A silver lining

Kate [turns her head to sneeze and lands it on dad]: You have to say 'bless you.'

Dad: How about 'bless daddy' because you sneezed on him?

K: Now you have Kateness germs.

D: Is that good or bad?

K: It's good. Kateness germs bring good luck.

The feel of Monday morning

Kate woke up with ferociously tangled hair. Dad got her moving and she started to respond.

Dad: You look like a truck ran over you.

Kate: Yeah.

D: Did a truck run over you?

K: No, it just feels that way.

For limited production

While explaining the setting of a tea party for much of her inanimate friends, Kate rattled off the ingredients in the delicacies, from cookies to hot cocoa. Unsurprisingly, the 'little something extra' in each is, in fact, Kateness.

Dad [obviously impressed]: You've done a great job. The animals all look very happy.

On cue, we hear a should of discontent from Jane, downstairs, who has learned that if she yells, "Mom!," she gets a faster response.

Kate: Jane doesn't sound as happy. She needs some Kateness.

Diligence

Jane [spotting a package of gum on the counter, turns to Dad]: I want gum.

Dad: No, you can't have gum.

Jane [pauses, then looks back at Dad]: Daddy!

Dad: Yes?

Jane: I want gum!

Dad: No, you can't have gum.

Jane: [thinks, then in a sing-song voice followed with a big smile]: Daaaad-y!

And so forth.

How to influence others and yourself

Kate has been practicing batting her eyes and smiling when making grand requests. (E.g. Can I have some more Rice Crispies? Frantic eyelash fluttering.)

She then remarked, "I'm so cute I make myself laugh."

Conversation

At least there's a high point

Dad, interviewing Kate about her day: What was the best part of today?

Kate: I got a new book to read.

D: That's great. What part of your day didn't you like?

K [pauses and thinks]: Getting up.

Lemons

If life hands out lemons, you can make, uh, sad faces and wait for dad to fix the swing set.

Efficiency is a Matter of Patience

To consume a larger amount of food, you can either give the kid more servings or increase the size of the bowl.

Visitor from Utah

We were very excited to have a visitor from Utah come see us! Although it was only for a day, Tyler's layover dropped him in the South long enough to eat a fantastic Cajun lunch at one of our favorite, local spots.



Andy was on cloud nine.

Kate on aging

During a conversation discussing mom's upcoming birthday, Kate asked just how old Steph was going to be.

Dad: Thirty-two. Is that old?

Kate: Yeah, I can't count that high.

We also discussed living arrangements.

Kate: When you're old, will you live in a condominium?

Dad: I don't know. Why?

K: When mom is old she's going to live in a condominium, and you had better live with her.

Assessment of my remembering skills

After Aunt Rie tossed Kate off the couch while tickling her, Kate fell on one of my favorite fish bowls from Pearl River Mart and broke it in half. Everyone tried to cast around the blame. I asked Kate, "Who's fault is it really?" She grinned and pointed at Aunt Rie. "What about Mom, she didn't put her bowl in the sink?" Marie asks.
"Well, she doesn't have a very good thinking brain."
Easily demonstrated by the fact that I have lost my wallet 30 times or more.

Extra story: But my brain does think better than the employees at Wal-Mart who were holding my wallet in the lost and found.
"What color is your wallet?"
"Black."
"Can you show me some ID?"
"... um no, it's in the wallet."
Manager looks at my photo ID, "and your name?"
"... um, yeah."

Kate on flavor

Kate (pretending to be a chef, serves her mother – a food critic – a new dish): This is "Quesadilla dipped in Kateness."

Food critic: Kateness?

K: Kateness is really yummy. It tastes like sea salt.

Kate on the weather

Kate (observing that today's temperature was a comfortable 75): It's cool today. And I mean the cold kind of cool. The other kind is like rock on!

Pictures of Jane explanation

Some have questioned why we have featured a disproportionate amount of Jane pictures lately. Quite frankly, it's because she moves the slowest.

Jane picture update

Jane's parents love her, even when she has a hard day. When she's feeling particularly spent, they pick her up and comfort her. But first they grab the camera.

When the dog isn't in her kennel, Jane expresses concern that the soft blanket and space are going to waste. Then she climbs in and closes the door behind her.



Getting to play outside is fun, unless you don't get a turn with the camera. Then it's pretty miserable.



So is Jane really a sad little girl? No. We just put up the more interesting pictures. And besides, when she's happy, she runs away from the camera.

Magic or not?

Dad has been debating with Kate for some time over what constitutes actual magic. Making M&Ms disappear used to be magic, but Kate doubts the validity of that claim these days. Grandaddy sending M&Ms to her via video chat from his library in Utah? Not magic; that's technology.

We reached a milestone this morning while dad was making chocolate appear in the milk already in Kate's glass. The exchange went something like this:

Dad: Voila! Now there is chocolate in your milk.

Kate: No, it was already there. I saw it.

D: It's magic or I take it away.

K [heaves a prolonged sigh]: Okay, it's magic.

Teach them young

Given half a chance to sit in dad's car, Jane goes straight for the driver's seat. Someday soon, she'll be tall enough to reach the clutch. Happy Father's Day.

See Jane's dog

The pup is growing well and fitting a schedule quite well these days. Cassie does particularly well with Jane, who really isn't intimidated by a frenetic beast larger than she.



Jane's current feelings on the subject.



And Stephanie's.

Parenting Advice from Kate and More

After a particularly difficult day when Kate was put down to bed early for not following directions AGAIN, I went to discuss our reasons with her and comfort her:

S: "You know, even though I was upset that you didn't follow my directions, I still love you."

K: "It's not about love, Mom, it's about consequences."

I also recently found a note where I scrawled a Katism from a couple of weeks ago in my church bag:

K: "You know, there are spirits of dinosaurs all around us."

No swimming

Kate: Even if you made a river of death, I wouldn't go swimming in it.

Word association

As a reward for working very hard on his homework, Andy earned a trip to "the DQ." He almost gave it up, though, as he ran over to dad, who asked: "Did you finish writing your story?"

Andy: Yeah!

D: Want to go get ice cream?

A (suddenly looking very serious and concerned): No shot, Dad. No shot.

I guess we've used ice cream to counter too many doctor visits. We'll have to find another medicine.

Cassandra

So we bought a family dog.



We welcome Cassandra, who tested at a solid 3.5 on the personality scale employed by our neighbor, who lists professional therapy dog trainer on her resume. The first week has been really fun. All pups are excitable, prone to accidents, and anxious at night, however, Cassie has been great. She sleeps through the night. She recognizes Steph as the alpha dog. And a majority of the kids love playing with her.

She's a lab, 11 weeks old, and a gorgeous black all over.

Even fictional ponies are led by males

Kate, while improvising a story about ponies using a mini theatre and finger puppets: There was one, all alone, because all the others were in a different land. They went to a place called monster-land, so they were eaten by monsters.

Dad: Why did they go to monster-land? Didn't they see that coming?

K: They wanted to go to bird-land where they could see the birds, but they didn't take a map so they got lost.

Rock star

As loving, attentive parents, we recognize our duty to instill a sense of exploration and ambition in our children. This particularly applies to future career selection. Although Andy claims he would prefer a career in meat processing or corporate tax, we have been aggressively encouraging him to form a rock band and live life to its full potential. We've got a long way to go, and some money to raise along the way, but he's got potential. And, for now, he's not resisting enough to stop us.



I'm hoping to be well supported in my golden years.

The Tail of Jane

After a good tussle with her mother, Jane is sporting pig tails. They're not for the faint of heart, but I think Jane pulls them off well.



I think her mom is pretty cute, too.

Gross Receipts

Much to Justin's chagrin I unloaded the contents of the garage, put price tags on the junk, and joined the community yard sale today. We live in the South, why not?
$100 Net Profit (Including $30 in change I added myself)
-$30 in change seized by Andy
+$9 found on Andy's bed 2 hours later
-7 in Tagalongs and Trefoils sold by the neighbor girl
-2.50 in VHS tapes and the Hi-Ho Cheerio game from the other neighbor's house
+10 found in the pocket of Andy's swim trunks at bedtime
=$70

So, I basically made $60 for about 6 hours of work (as Justin likes to remind me). But, I also cleaned out my garage, chatted with my neighbors, treated my children to a donut breakfast like my dad used to do on Saturday mornings, and saw the most beautiful flurry of maple "wings" blow across my neighbor's yard. All in all, a very productive day.

Man of Few Words

It seems Andy and Lily don't get as much coverage on the blog as their prolific sister, Kate, simply because Andy is a man of few words and Lily is babbling semi-coherently for the moment. So, I thought I'd take the time to share some of Andy's better quotes:

"Mom, I like you big much."

A constant refrain of "I still hungry."

Apparently, Andy was eating an additional breakfast at school for several weeks until Kate ratted him out. The teachers wondered how I hadn't notice that his lunch account was depleting faster than usual. Well, apparently he had so charmed the lunch ladies that they were just giving it to him. While I was impressed by his bravado, we had to put a stop to that.

And for Marie:

"Rie mom. No you mom. Just Rie and Tyler Daddy. I go. I pack." Yep, I understood him well enough to be insulted. Sometimes it was better when I couldn't quite understand what he was saying. Add "Jesus no like you" to that list also.

Confessions

My dad called me at 7:00am this morning frantically warning me that the plastics I have been using with my children for the past eight years is potentially lethal. That's right, the trendy bottles I've used for all of my children and those adorable dishes from IKEA are apparently repositories for deadly toxins. Certainly, I don't disagree, but, as a cynic, I think most things in our modern society are probably pretty bad. Still, I follow all of the rigid APA guidelines as a responsible parent.

Can I confess that I was secretly relieved? My sink was filled with dirty dishes, and as a responsible parent, I was forced to throw nearly half of the dirty dishes in the garbage without even washing them. And it didn't stop there. I was forced to get rid of all the fast food cups toppling out of the cupboard and clear the bottle space out of an entire drawer. Yes, that also means I finally forced myself to eliminate bottles altogether for Lily. Maybe next week we'll find out that cotton is a deadly threat and I won't have to do laundry.

To Grandmothers House We Go

While driving to Blairsville to visit Fefe and Pa, the kids' great-grandparents, Kate remarks:

K: It's bad to be getting old.

Mom: Why do you think that Kate?

K: You forget that you're not supposed to take drugs.

With age, maturity

Dad (who has been relentless in his negotiations with Kate to limit her age and stay young perpetually): How old are you now?

Kate: Six.

D: Wow, when did that happen?

K: On my birthday.

D [sighing]: Well then, can you stay six from now on?

K: No can do.

D: What's it gonna take to keep you six?

K: Okay, I'm done talking about six.

Meetings, the good kind

Kate, upon settling into the back seat and observing Andy and dad as fellow travelors, remarked: There are three of us, it must be a meeting.

Dad: A meeting? What kind?

K: A fun one.

D: Well then, we must be in the right place, yes?

K: Yes we are!

Top 5 Reasons Why No 2007 Christmas Card

For the past 10 years, I have dutifully mailed Christmas cards. They were sometimes late but always contained a picture of my hooligans and, occasionally, the whole family. Not this year. Fate had different plans, and so, much to Justin's chagrin, I will share the reasons why you did not receive a Christmas card from the Merediths in 2007 (and it's not pretty):
1. Andy was hospitalized for 10 days with pnuemonia in October and stayed in the ICU for 5 days. I'm not going to sugarcoat it; that was just plain scary. I knew it was bad when they drew blood and he didn't move a muscle, but he did get tons of presents from his teachers and classmates at school.
2. The Executive Director of the Down Syndrome Association of Atlanta moved in October, so, as the Co-President, I was left to lead the charge as a volunteer until January. It has been fulfilling, exhausting, productive, frustrating, and educational, but I only have 8 months, 6 days, and...left.
3. I taught two classes at Reinhardt to save up for a fabulous Disney vacation in September. We stayed on the property and got the free meal plan; we were set. That is until Justin's e-mail server went down and the baby stayed up half the night. Then, once we all fell asleep, Justin and I awoke to the best alarm clock in the world—the sound of Andy wretching and vomit hitting the floor. This continued until noon the next day, so I took the girls to the park planning to meet up with Justin once Andy felt better. After, we finally found each other in the afternoon, I proceeded to lose my phone and my Disney passports (no I don't ever change), and then Disney was struck by torrential downpours that flooded the Main Street Parade. Fortunately, the Lilo and Stitch breakfast the next day was a huge smash.
4. You'd think we'd know better at this point, but we planned another vacation to spend Thanksgiving with the family in NY. After a wonderful morning at Central Park watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, all the cousins met up to play at a playground in Central Park. It was an absolutely gourgeous day until Kate took a tumble down a hill. When her uncle Steve checked her head to make sure she didn't get hurt, he noticed creepy crawlies in her hair. You guessed it, Kate had lice, and so did Andy and I. After frantically searching NYC for lice shampoo and combs, we finally returned home where my patient new sister-in-law Jenn spent 6 hours plucking lice from my head. Don't let anybody fool you, seriously, a good lice comb is the key to getting rid of lice. Also, Justin has sworn off family vacations for the next year, and he means it.
5. Did I mention that when Andy got pnuemonia, the baby got pnuemonia at the same time? This was particularly difficult as a mom to split myself in two. Fortunately, my dad and my absolutely amazing ward friends pulled through and helped me get through it, but, alas, there was no time for Christmas cards. Hopefully, next year I will get them done before Thansgiving (as I always intend to).

Ode to the Kitchen Bathroom

I love my kitchen bathroom. At approximately 2 ft. by 5 ft., I can clean it in 10 minutes flat, including the baseboards and the grime that collects around the edges of the faucet. It is an instant feeling of accomplishment while the dishes collect in the sink and my laundry sits in a pile on the armchair. Sometimes success comes in measures.

The Kate formerly known as Artist

Kate: My name isn't Kate. It's Artist.

Dad: Artist?

K: Doctor.

D: Doctor Artist?

K: Yes. Doctor Artist.

A good lookin' kid

After application of a number of images to a project I'm doing, it turns out I have a few left over. Here's a shot of my very handsome boy with a glorious blue sky behind him. Gotta love that Georgia sun.

A good start

So, given a choice, what does Lily Jane request for breakfast? Why, cookies and milk, of course.



This is primarily to embarrass Stephanie, who didn't participate in the staging of this picture. Regardless this is still her child.

More beach pictures

Because it's warming up everywhere, I thought a few more pictures of the kids' frolicking would be appropriate. (Images courtesy of the iPhone, whose battery life is longer than the Canon's.)



Andy articulating the sheer size of the Atlantic. We must have spent hours calculating the volume, but the drive home gave us that time.



It's hard to spot, but Kate is actually moving backwards here. She's quite talented.



Jane was more excited than some-outlandish-thing-here-in-the-South. She and I chased each other for at least an hour.

Dialect

Kate, at 5, has a keen ear for dialect. Please observe the following:

Mom (to dad, listing something or other; I wasn't really paying attention): A) blah, blah, something, blah. B) blah, blah, etc.

Kate (cutting into the conversation): Are you from Canada? Because I just heard you say, "eh!"

The conversation paused at this point and the train of thought lost to unrestrained laughter.

Sea Island

Seventeen days after celebrating the groundhog, we found ourselves again at an island retreat in southern Georgia. We understand that during this time most of the readership has been covered in snow, or at least cold. In order to offend the least number of friends and family, here is only a sample of the beach frolicking.



Lily Jane really getting the most out of her swing.



Stephanie poses in front of an early lighthouse on St Simon's Island.



Andy and Kate pose on top of the lighthouse. The platform is visible in the background behind Stephanie.

Pinewood Durr-bee

Andy's first Pinewood Durr-bee (southern pronunciation) went great. Always thrilled to wear his scout shirt, Andy arrived with his shin-y red car, perfectly weighted and well, uh, graphited.



The races were spectacular. Andy was so animated when his name was called and he put his car on the track. He lost a few heats and won a few. For every race, Andy pumped his fists in the air and shouted as the cars raced down the track. By the third heat, the other scouts would chant, "Andy! Andy! Andy!" as he moved his pinewood car into position.



It was truly one of the great moments of our year and we're so happy to be where we are with our friends around us.