Hearing like a Bat

Dad [tiptoes silently through the darkness of Kate and Jane's room, lies down on Kate's bed and pats her head softly to wake her 'nicely,' (Kate's term) then whispers]: Do you want me to carry you downstairs and put some cereal in you?

Jane [apparently a light sleeper with excellent hearing, belts out]: I want cereal!

Potty by proxy

Dad [to Jane]: Please go potty in the bathroom.

Jane: Don't want to.

Andy [looks at his sister, then Dad]: I'll do it.

Digital Photos are still Slides

Dad: Want to see pictures from my trip?

Andy [groans]: It's boring.

Dad: It's not boring. I like these.

Andy [no longer paying attention]: It's still boring.

Worn out

Jane had a good day and decided to wrap it up right here.

The Subtleties of Kate's Flexibility

Dad [to Kate, who is lying on the couch instead of getting ready for school]: You need to get up and get dressed.

Kate [without blinking]: I'm stretching.

Editorial note from Dad: You may think that the blog has been overrun by Dad/Kate-isms lately because Kate is the most talkative of the kids and Dad is the most frequent author. The reality, however, is that Kate reserves most of her clever thoughts for Dad.

Dad is home!

After being away for 5 days, I walked through the door with camera in hand to capture my children's authentic expressions of joy when celebrating dad's return. Here's what I saw, in chronological order.

For the duration

Dad: Okay, I'll snuggle with you for 5 minutes.

Kate [immediately]: That's 300 seconds.