Giant News

Kate [while listening to news radio with dad]: This sounds really scary.

Dad: It's a scary world.

Kate: Yeah, what is an Oil Giant?

The Lost Ponies Learn About the Food Chain

Kate [improvising a story about ponies]: There was one, all alone, because the others were in a different land, called 'Monster Land,' and they were eaten.

Dad: Why did they go to Monster Land? Didn't they see that coming?

Kate: Well, they wanted to go to 'Bird Land' where they could see birds, but they didn't take a map.

It's for safe keeping.

Andy: Dad, I need a Sprite™.

Dad: Not right now.

Andy [after a few minutes]: Um, Dad, I need your wallet.

Who doesn't prefer chocolate milk?

Jane [sitting at the table, pushes away her cup of water and grabs Andy's chocolate milk while he's not looking]: I don't like water, I only like chocolate milk.

[Jane then grins mischievously.]

Homonyms 101

Dad [with Andy, as we drive by the summer-vacation-dormant school]: Hey, Andy! There's your school!

Andy: Oh.

Dad: Wave to it. Say, "Hi, school."

Andy: It's not High School. Elementary.

Dad: Right you are.

Good Neighbors Have Sugary Cereal

Dad [to Jane, sitting next to him]: What do you want for breakfast?

Jane [clear as a bell]: Do you have any Family Size?

Dad: I don't.

Jane [ponders this]: Do you have to borrow some?

Boredom as an Allergen

Kate: I'm allergic to poison ivy and 'not having fun.' And I'm not having fun.