Submission

Lily [to Mom]: You're not the boss of me.

Mom: Oh yes I am. That's exactly what I am.

[Mom sits on Lily and tickles her mercilessly.]

Mom: Say I'm the biggest boss ever.

Lily: You're the biggest hot dog ever.

Identity

Dad: Do you know my daughter? She wears a red shirt.

[Kate holds up a red towel in front of her shirt.]

Dad: My daughter is 6-feet-tall.

[Kate stands on her tip toes.]

Dad: My daughter has glasses.

[Kate forms rings with her fingers and holds them to her eyes.]

Dad: My daughter knows all her multiplication tables.

Kate: No she doesn't, dad.

Moral

Kate [while watching Sleeping Beauty]: None of this would have happened if they would have just invited the wicked queen to the birthday party.

Dad: That's the moral of the story, yeah?

Kate: Yep. Don't leave people out.

Good Ideas Abound

Kate [after submitting an idea for a new word game]: It's a good idea.

Dad [encouragingly]: Yes, it is.

Kate: All my ideas are good, Dad.

Bad Ideas are Easy to Spot

Mom: Kate, you don't even know what a bad idea is.

Kate: Yes I do! For example: jumping into a pool filled with sharks.

Physical Constraints and Reality

Kate [after discovering her handwritten note to the Tooth Fairy, with accompanying tooth, in her parents' closet]: Mom! Why do you have my note to the Tooth Fairy?!

Mom [after considering whether or not to level with Kate]: It's me. I'm the Tooth Fairy.

Kate: Mom, don't be ridiculous. The Tooth Fairy is small and has wings. And, anyway, you can't even get up early in the morning.

[Editor's note: After subsequently interviewing Kate about her experience and asking her opinion why Mom would tell such a fib, Kate confidently told me that Mom was likely just trying to assume the Tooth Fairy's credit.]

Lexicon

Jane: I want Cheez-Its® for breakfast.

Dad: Cheez-Its aren't breakfast food. They're for snacks.

Jane: Okay, I want a snack.